...

unfortunately i think i now understand what that one person was talking about on twitter when they said that most therapists are not very good........

i don’t mean to deny an entire field of study and it’s real material effects on people’s lives (which are net positive or net negative depending on various factors) but in my experience there really is a limit to how much therapy can help someone

and even then that’s only if the therapist really knows what they’re doing and is good at intuiting and understanding your unique perspectives on things

i’ve heard some horror stories.....i can’t imagine what it must be like to go to someone in such a vulnerable context and be talked down to, blatantly misunderstood, chastised, etc.

i’m diagnosed bpd, by the way, a condition treated w/ cognitive behavioral therapy. obviously the necessity to attend decreases over time but it’s generally understood that we should probably have some sort of relationship w/ a therapist the rest of our lives.

i’ve been getting treated for this for over a year now w/ two different online. were it not for my recent revelation of being trans (and the obvious necessity to work thru that with my therapist) i would feel like a stuck record.

but a lot of my problems would persist! and not because of a lack of therapy but because they are material problems that have more to do with the state of the world and my place as a trans womam within it than anything else! we are not built to feel resolved during crisis!

anyways i just ended a session wherein my therapist directed me towards meditation/mindfulness apps and then gave me socrates quotes to ruminate on or whatever so i think i’m done for a while.

also bpd is comorbid with gender dysphoria so it’s entirely possible that i was just misdiagnosed with bpd and that once i transition socially/physically i might actually be......okay??? like obviously trauma doesn’t go away but at least i’ll know who i am a lot better??