I started using an app to track my dysphoria recently.
It let me set up my own five-point scale, which I categorized in terms of dysphoria to discomfort to numbness to comfort to euphoria. I placed numbness in the middle, since my suspicion is that my BPD states are more dependent on dysphoric symptoms than directly by my fear of rejection. Of course, the fear of rejection is still something that definitely drives moods, but since I've realized I actually am trans I've come to understand much more how strong and ever-present dysphoria is. After a week or so of this, I've sort of established some sense of a general pattern for my moods. I feel more comfortable when I engage in activities that affirm my gender identity, and I either feel numb or uncomfortable when I either ignore those activities or fixate on the fear and doubt surrounding my being trans.
For the past week, I've been mostly in the numb to dysphoric range. This I attribute to the limitations of what I can currently do to affirm my gender. It turns out that my dysphoria is actually quite physically-oriented. It comes out in the incongruencies between how my body appears and feels and how I see myself. Now that I've opened this up to myself and accepted its existence it's created a huge conflict in this regard. I am quite literally a woman trapped in a male body and a masculine presentation. No amount of external affects seem to be able to rectify my lack of feminine physical traits. I literally feel the absence of these traits like ghost limbs. I should accept that, at least for now, I am not going to just magically feel comfortable as a person until I've started taking hormones. That makes me kind of sad. I can't really start that stuff until I have a job, among other things that must be in order before I take that step.
Until then, I guess I just have to work with this in a more or less situational capacity, taking steps to alleviate my dysphoria through external means as I continue to uncover this side of my self.
That's all I feel like I can say about this now. Dysphoria is different for everyone who experiences it. It's extremely specific to our worldviews, behaviors, environments, relationships, and so on. It also varies in intensity, and it's felt in different capacities and areas of our bodies and lives. In my case, it's emotionally debilitating. I don't mean to throw a pity-party here. It's just hard.
The website below helped me learn to categorize the parts of my dysphoria. It was especially helpful in the beginning stages as I was trying to figure out just how deep the rabbit hole goes: